Changes
by layneybug
Summary: After Harry’s fifth year he struggles to find closer from the loss of his last caring legal guardian. Right when he was ready to give up, the one person who he thought would turn around and leave him, comes to join him in his quest to mend his empty heart


Summary: After Harry's fifth year he struggles to find closer from the loss of his last caring legal guardian. Right when he was ready to give up, the one person who he thought would turn around and leave him, comes to join him in his quest to mend his empty heart.

AN: I haven't decided where this will go, send me a message if you have any ideas.

Title comes from 3 doors down song "Changes"

Chapter one: Nightmares

Harry Potter awoke in a cold sweat. Even though he had been having the same dream every night for almost a month, he couldn't keep himself from shaking. Slowly moving across the room towards the window for some much needed air, he began to relive the dream in his head.

The dreams always began with the battle between the Order and Voldemort supporters. The select members of Dumbledore's Army had tried their best against the group of Death Eaters, but were losing when the Order arrived. Spells began to fly around as he and Neville tried to find safety after Neville saved him from a Death Eater who had attacked them both. Barely avoiding being hit with a curse, Harry was disoriented. The Death eater then proceeded to summon the prophecy, but before he could achieve his goal, Sirius tackled him. Harry then saved Sirius from him and Heard the last words that Sirius would ever utter to him. Harry then watched Sirius duel his cousin, Belatrix Lestrange. They seemed to battle forever, but then Sirius was hit with a spell and knocked backwards into the veil. He always seemed to fall in slow motion while everyone else continued at normal speed. Harry could never prevent himself from screaming his godfather's name after these dreams, so he was now in the habit of using silencing charms on his room.

Harry was now sitting at his desk beside the window. He was crying. The site of Sirius falling never left his mind. All he had to do was close his eyes and Sirius would be there falling into the veil.

"Why? Harry screamed under the silencing charm, Why him and not ME? Why did he have to taunt Belatrix and let his guard down? Why had he left safety to go after me?"

Harry knew what everyone's answer to his questions would be: "Sirius loved you. That is why he gave his life to protect you." Harry knew this, but didn't want to give up the idea that he could have prevented it.

Harry began to throw all of his desk's contents into the floor. He wanted Sirius back. This wasn't enough; he needed to do more damage. He pulled his school books from underneath the loose floor board and began to rip the pages out and apart. He started with the Monster Book of Monsters and then proceeded to destroy his 5th year Transfiguration book. He had only truly had Sirius for a year. Sure, Sirius had made himself known in Harry's 3rd year, but Harry had never really gotten to sit and talk with him until Harry stayed at Grimmuald Place. Harry could remember the joy on Sirius's face at Christmas when everyone came for the holidays. Sirius was happy and Harry took it away by not saving him. Harry felt like a bloody idiot for falling for Voldemort's trick. Hermione had been right, Harry had a hero complex and Voldemort played on this weakness. If he had only listened to her, he could be with Sirius right now. Harry feel asleep at his desk remembering Sirius's playful manner and deep worrying eyes.

The next morning Harry awoke to Petunia Dursley pounding on his door and yelling for him to get out of his room at that instant or she would double his chores. The Dursleys had taken to bursting into Harry's room at random moments to try and see what he did all of the time in his room under excuses such as checking that he wasn't using or working on magic. They had forbid him to do anything pertaining to magic while at their house. So, Harry had taken to locking his door at all times and not letting anyone in.

He walked down to breakfast to mainly prove to the Dursleys that he wasn't dead yet and sat through it listening to Vernon complain about criminals and watching Dudley stuff his face with whatever he could get his grubby hands on. His diet had failed after he had gone back to school and Petunia didn't want to fight him over his food intake so she let him be. Harry never ate anymore; every time he did he became sick.

Harry then went back to his room were he began his daily routine. First he fixed the destruction that he had caused earlier and then took care of Hedwig. He had already finished all of his summer work preferring to immerse himself into something distracting.

After he was sure that Vernon was gone, Harry crawled out of his window and jumped into the bushes. He had done this so often that he had perfected how to land without causing any damage to him or the bushes. He began to walk to the neighborhood park, taking a short detour away from Mrs. Figg's house; she had already caused enough trouble. What bothered him most besides Sirius's death was that he would get owls at all times of the day and night with letters from admirer, friends and others. He didn't want to talk to anyone, so he sent as few owls as possible, just enough to keep them from worrying and coming for him. He just wanted to be alone. Harry crept into the playground and began to slowly move back and forth on a swing. He wanted someone to yell at and be able to not hurt their feelings, someone who would try to sympathize and not give him thoughtless advice. The only person he could think of though was way to far away and probably never wanted to talk to him again. Harry stopped swinging to stand up and head home before Petunia noticed his absence and added on to his already gruesome chores, but as he stood up to leave someone spoke behind him. Preparing himself for Dudley and his gang he turned to see the one person he had wanted to talk to.

"Hello, Harry."

AN: I know it was short but it's just a taste. PLEASE REPLY! This is my first fanfic. I need advice. You can be as mean as you need to! GOOD or BAD? Please tell me!


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